any good disfunctional family christmas stories

[Lawhunter]

Yea this is odd, “hey mister stop punching my wife over and over , hey I said stop.” Then pulls a gun.

maybe said wife burned breakfast that morning?

[Lawhunter]

I’ll add one.

Two years ago we had a big family Christmas. One of my cousins that I haven’t seen in a while shows up. He’s gone off the deep end, and starts telling me how our family name is racist, that’s why he took his wife’s last name. How he loves Antifa, BLM, communism is great, loves China, hates Trump blah blah blah. I finally stopped him and said thank God you changed your name because you’re an absolute disgrace and embarrassment to our family, and don’t ever talk to me or wife ever again. That went over like a fart at a funeral.

That was also the same Christmas two other female cousins that are twins showed up that we hadn’t seen in a while. One of them showed up with her lesbian lover (no one knew she was gay), and the other sister was now a man, (again, no one knew she was now a he).

Fun times and great memories.

did you at least give them MAGA hats for presents?

[Jon B]

Guess it was a white Christmas afterall

It is really sad, growing up he was as anti-drug as could be. Now he is a junkie and I am expecting a call any day saying he has overdosed.

[HOYTPRO2001]

the bomb that spoiled christmas
as a boy in south texas our family decided to visit the uncle, aunt, cousins on christmas day for bbq and beer in the alief region. Had cousin x who was always into mischief, great funny guy but took no crap from anyone and beat up anyone who picked on the cousins or his brother, and in alief there was a lot of opportunity for that.
Anyway on christmas night cousin x had the grand idea to teach the cousins how to build a bomb and blow up some lumber in the field nearby. Meanwhile the parents enjoyed the visit food and drink at the kitchen table while we huddled in the garage and went to work unraveling firecrackers and a couple 30-06 shells, funneling the powder into a co2 cartridge. One of our smarter cousins sensed danger and decided he'd go the bedroom and hang out. With several of us huddled in a circle in the garage, the cartridge exploded prematurely while he was packing powder with a nail (genius).
Blew off 2 and a half fingers and the smell of burnt flesh resonated the garage. Parents were naturally freaked out after the bang and cousin x walking in the kitchen and puttin his hand in the kitchen sink bleeding profusely. Ears were ringing so bad seemed like the next morning before the ringing resided.
Our uncle wrapped cousin x's hand in a towel, the uncles and dad took off to the hospital. That all happened fast, party over. The next morning we left and stopped by the hospital to tell him goodbye. Walked in the hospital room and cousin x smiled and he said "told you it would work". Not very dysfunctional but it was disruptive.

that's awesome. Been there and done that with no lost fingers. Hearing forever damaged though.

[Witchgrass]

Found out one of the 10 year old female family members was caught trying to sell pictures of her feet online. This was brought up while we were sitting at the dinner table Christmas Day. Almost choked on my banana pudding.

That’s pretty kinky for a 10 year old! Where in the world did she get that idea from?

[Hoggslayer]

I’ll add one.

Two years ago we had a big family Christmas. One of my cousins that I haven’t seen in a while shows up. He’s gone off the deep end, and starts telling me how our family name is racist, that’s why he took his wife’s last name. How he loves Antifa, BLM, communism is great, loves China, hates Trump blah blah blah. I finally stopped him and said thank God you changed your name because you’re an absolute disgrace and embarrassment to our family, and don’t ever talk to me or wife ever again. That went over like a fart at a funeral.

That was also the same Christmas two other female cousins that are twins showed up that we hadn’t seen in a while. One of them showed up with her lesbian lover (no one knew she was gay), and the other sister was now a man, (again, no one knew she was now a he).

Fun times and great memories.

Sounds like my wife's side of the family from Cali.

[Monark]

Feeling pretty about my family after reading this thread. No drunks, no LGBYQRZT, no drug heads, no liberals, no arguments, no mis-behaving kids. Life is good here. Thanks for reminding me to appreciate small things.

[Longhorn95]

Jason Fry posted up the other day in DIY that he has been commissioned to make 8 swords. If it is a TBH member there could be an epic battle royale story next year.

[ThisLadyHunts]

Feeling pretty about my family after reading this thread. No drunks, no LGBYQRZT, no drug heads, no liberals, no arguments, no mis-behaving kids. Life is good here. Thanks for reminding me to appreciate small things.

((yawn…))

[Richard M.]

Forgot how good this thread was...up for the holidays!

[Ishi&Elvis]

Yep, bump for sure. These are always great stories.

[Bowhica]

Found out one of the 10 year old female family members was caught trying to sell pictures of her feet online. This was brought up while we were sitting at the dinner table Christmas Day. Almost choked on my banana pudding.

If you cut the bananas up, they aren't a choking hazard.

[Chew]

Feeling pretty .

. Glad you're not feeling ugly anymore!

[Aggiehunter08]

Ttt!

[Monark]

. Glad you're not feeling ugly anymore!