Adoption questions

[kmlj9491]

Okay, to make a long painful story short my wife and I have been trying for a baby for two years. We've been through many tests, fertility drugs, a 16 week miscarriage, more tests, more drugs, many more nights crying, lots of prayers, and nothing seems to be working. The doctor wants to do artificial insemination but my wife can't handle it anymore. She's tired of all the pills, shots, doctor appointments, and disappointment. It tears me up to see her in so much pain. She hates talking about it because she feels like a failure. She has me and her whole family for support but none of us can feel the way she feels. It sucks. BUT, one thing we've always talked about doing is adoption. We decided before we knew she had fertility problems that we were going to adopt at least one child. Maybe #2 or #3. We want to have our own first. But we've decided to put adoption first and if she gets pregnant later then great! If not that's fine too because we're not expecting it to happen.

So, here is where were at, we would like to adopt an at risk child who is less than 2 years old. The younger the better, we would like to experience all the firsts like crawling, walking, talking, etc. Where do we even start? Has anyone here done it? What should I expect to happen? How long of a process is it? I have no clue where to start. Thank you in advance!

[TxAg]

I don't know the answers but God bless you and your wife. It's a great thing you're doing.

[enewman]

Very hard and lots of time. We did it through foster care. We looked at adoption agents. We could not afford it. We talked to child homes. They told us no. They would loose government funding. So foster is how we did it

[talltexasshoote]

We did ours (2) through foster as well. It is a very imperfect system. I would never tell you not to go that route. There are many children that need loving homes with parents who want to love them. The system is very broken, however. We were told by our foster "developer" not to get attached until the child or children had been with us for at least six months. In my opinion, if you can do that you shouldn't be a parent. I was attached five seconds after I held my daughter for the first time. I was attached the first time I saw my son and he smiled at me. Three years later we finally got to adopt them. If you want to discuss this further pm me and I will give you my phone number. Talk it through and pray over it with your wife. Trust God has a plan for you, you might not yet be able to see it, but it is there.

[bowstalker210]

Me and my wife adopted or son through foster care. Like stated above the foster system is imperfect, however if you and your wife have the patience and conviction its worth it. Just know that going in to that system you will have your share court hearings and home visits and much more. With that said, I would also suggest to try to get an adoption date close to November, this is in relation to your wife. Here in San Antonio they have a big celebration and make a big event out of it. I think it would really help in the long run with your wife to see just how many women are out that are in the similar situation and it might be comforting as well as cathartic for her. Good Luck in your decision bud. God Bless.

[twistedmidnite]

Sending a pm

[jakhunter]

Prayers going up for you and your wife.

[Kdog]

Our children were also adopted through foster care, although the parental rights were already terminated. So we never had a worry of losing them. We have 2 wonderful children (brother and sister), I wouldn't trade them for anything. They were 2 and 3 when we got them. Developmentally more like 1 and 2. There are many benefits to going this route, but it was not your traditional experience and not without struggles. The kids are now almost 12 and 10 and they still are dealing with the results of the neglect and what the foster system did (or didn't do in some instances) before we got them. Mostly it is developmental issues that translate into learning difficulty and poor coping skills. However, any kid can have issues/struggles regardless of their background. Our kids are very happy and upbeat, my wife and I love them so much! (I guess that is what makes it hard to see them struggle with certain things.) There are also many benefits to adopting children through the foster system. The adoption itself cost us nothing. Our kids are on medicaid and we get a monthly stipend. They are also supposed to have college paid for, at least this is what we were told. We still would have gone through with it without these benefits, but it is nice that we get a monthly check and not have to pay for health insurance. (I think the benefits vary depending on the child's age and if it is a sibling group or not.) For us the process of getting the kids happened rather quickly. We went about it a little differently than what is probably normal. We found out the kids needed a home through my wife's job. I contacted the social worker in December around Christmas time. The kids were in our home by the end of April. We officially adopted them about 18 months later.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or if I can help in any way. There are so many children out there who need families/parents. God Bless!

[kmlj9491]

We half way started the foster program a few months ago but never went to the first meeting. I don't think we could handle falling in love with a child and then have them stripped from us

[Kdog]

You can be an "adopt only" family. Then you will only be dealing with children who are already eligible to be adopted. It's going to be hard to get a baby that way though, unless maybe he/she is part of a sibling group. Good luck.

[1riot1ranger]

We had three sons and then adopted twice from Russia. A daughter at 9 months and another daughter when she was 7. They are 18 and 22 now. Feel free to asks any questions if international adoption interests you

[Hogwild84]

Good luck to yall. My cousin and his wife tried 4 years... Their son is now 1 year old. They thought it would never happen and finally did. And that's awesome that yall are looking into adoption.

[diesel]

Adoption is awesome and a blessing , it is a very long process but well worth it . I started the adoption process with my two boys when one was 6 months old and the older one was 1 1/2 years old and now they are 7 and 9 years old and we are going to finalize the adoption in October (next month) . It is all well worth it...! Congrats on that decision and good luck .

[kmlj9491]

We had three sons and then adopted twice from Russia. A daughter at 9 months and another daughter when she was 7. They are 18 and 22 now. Feel free to asks any questions if international adoption interests you

Pm inbound

[Jeremy]

In reading your story. it is a lot like ours. I would ask her if carrying a baby is something that she really desires. If so I would like to tell you more about embryo adoption. Please see our journey here. There is even more recent things we have been through. I will help you in anyway I can. We used generations here in Waco which is a Christian based adoption agency. That was a big thing for us.

http://jeremyandmistisjourneytoadoption.blogspot.com/