is it possible to be too good of a dad?

[jase82]

so my wife tells me that she's tired of competing with my son for my attention. with the last year of crap going on, I've just kinda reverted to what I'm best at and thats being a dad. the job situation has been a roller coaster, the deer lease has been a bust, and i just overall feel like a failure in most respects. my wife has worked more to pick up the slack and she works nights which makes alone time difficult. so I've just kinda gotten comfortable with being a good dad and being around him as much as possible, doing stuff with him, etc.. by doing that, I'm neglecting her. how would y'all handle this? just got a lot on my plate right now and dunno how to clear some of it. sorry for the rant.

[Ironman]

Well, happy wife happy life comes to mind.

[T-Bone]

Still need to make time for her no matter what. I know it is hard sometimes because we all get wrapped up in our own routines. If she is telling you she feels like she is competing for your attention listen to her and make more time for her.

[Mtltx]

Get a sitter and go out for a nice dinner and movie. Maybe go get a hotel room and wear your best speedo! Helps me

[stevieray54]

How about some special time with her, doing what she likes. How old is your son. How about taking time off work in the morning taking her out for breakfast or somthing

[Death from Above]

Hmmmm. A good dad will make sure mom is being loved on too.

Mommy and daddy need to come before kids. Done right it makes for a better family unit.

[doghouse]

Spouse comes in 1st and kids 2nd!

[FamousAmos]

Years ago a very close friend told me that my relationship with my kids was the best he'd ever seen. "Enviable" is the word he used. But he reminded me that kids grow up and marry and new people take my place. I would be a stranger in my own house with my wife. I heard him. I'm still very close to my kids. Hunt with my son often. He's 29. Writing this in my daughter's house. She is 34. Closer to my wife than I've ever been. I'm glad I listened to my friend.

[Mudslinger]

Spouse comes in 1st and kids 2nd!

Even without kids, this is an absolute truth!

[Backwoods101]

So yep, your being to good of a Dad.
If momma ain't happy, nobody's happy!
Keep your head up. Sometimes life throws a little too much at you all at once but those challenges is what makes a man.

[Limbwalker]

Spouse comes in 1st and kids 2nd!

^^^ This.

My wife and I have managed to raise three pretty darn good kids, but one reason for that is they always knew which relationship was the most important one in the house - my wife and me. Period, end of story.

This accomplishes a lot of good things. First, it honors the commitment you made to your wife and God when you married her - to put her needs before your own and to honor the sacrament of Marriage.

Second, it keeps the kids from thinking they are more important than either of you, and that keeps them in line. If they know you will support your wife, and she will support you, there won't be any end-runs around either of you by the kids because they will know they will get in trouble for trying to undermine either of you.

Third - by making your relationship with your wife the most important one in the house, you serve as a good and Godly example to your kids of how they should handle their marriage someday, and the importance of making it their priority when they become a husband or wife.

So yea, get right with your wife. Your kids will understand when they are older. There are a lot of things a kid can't understand when they are young, but will when they are older. That's just how it is.

John

[jase82]

Hearing what I figured I'd hear and I appreciate it. Not sure what funk I've gotten into where I'm just doing the routine stuff. But yeah you're right. I need to do the things she likes more often.

[cattlelackranch]

is it possible to be too good of a dad?

God
Wife
Family
Friends

I need a reminder of this order a lot.

edit: John nailed it and more eloquently than I did.

[Tradman1971]

If Momma ain't Happy, ain't nobody Happy!!

[curtintex]

The absolute best thing that a man can do for his children is to love their mother. Your son will be gone before you know it and you'll wonder why he don't call more. Make her your priority now, because she's all you'll have later.