Why is it so hard to forgive?

[HoneyBee]

A month later and I still want to beat the **** out of my dad....
My dad was arrested on September 2nd for something I still cant even wrap my mind around him doing but he is no longer aloud to be unsupervised around children and I cannot fully explain to my three boys why because of the circumstances. Since his arrest I have found out he had been having an affair on my mom since January with a lady that worked for us. He called me last night for the first time since all of this happened and wants to talk tomorrow but I'm not sure I'm ready. I've never had a problem forgiving anyone but I'm having a hard time even wanting to see my dad whom I use to see or at least talk to everyday. Any advice?

[Deathrow Jethro]

Only thing I can offer is, pray about it and the Lord guide you and your actions.

[Spoken0313]

Pray and take a deep breath, I'm not sure I could do any better than the next person in this situation

[Striker918]

I'm pray with all of my tough decisions. Probably harder for you to forgive since it involves your children. You now have to worry about more than just your personal relationship with your dad, you have to worry about your babies too.

[JP135]

Any advice?

Just remember that life is short and people do some stupid things.

There's a lot of things I wish I could say to my dad, but that ship's already sailed.

[elkbowhunter]

so sorry. That has to be difficult.
May take awhile. .just don't let it steal your joy. Unforgiveness will destroy you. Like I say it may take awhile but as others have said lean on HIM.

Colossians 3:13 to “make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

[Soldier of C]

Prayer is always the best thing. Your don't have to forgive right away, it may take time to get there. But do remember the forgiveness is not really for your dad, but for you. That's when your healing starts. Just show love and compassion and that's when the Good Lord will show up in and work on your dads heart. God Bless.

[DUKFVR]

Sorry to hear how bad it is for you. Myself, there are just somethings I can't forgive. I just don't dwell on it & it goes to the back of my mind. I'm sure it is MUCH tougher being your Dad. Prayers for ya.

[SB09]

While I do not know the details, I can offer to send prayers up for you to forgive and for your father to change his ways. Also for your Mother having to deal with the affair portion.

Just remember, we are supposed to be forgiving. That's the way God wants us to be. No matter how upset you are. Try to find it in your heart to forgive and support him to get whatever help he needs to fix the issue.

[buckmastertexas]

I am really sorry that this has happened. For me to give real advice on this level of situation would be out of the scope of my experience, but there are some things
I would say has to happen. I think he would have to go through the full punishment phase for what he has done. It also seems that he would then need to go through some type of counseling and therapy, something that may reveal to himself why he did what he did. It can't be "I don't know why I did it"

I hope more the more experienced and knowledgeable TBH people can give better support.

I think one month of grievance may be too short of time to heal from this.

Prayers sent

[Shane]

You can still love someone, forgive them, and pray for them without ignoring the reality of what you can and can't trust someone with. If there is good reason for him to not be alone with your kids, then that's just the way it is - whether you forgive him or not. You should do your best to love and forgive still, as said above, it's not so much for him as it is for you. But sin, even forgiven sin, can still have lasting consequences. Make sense?

[JTCowpoke]

Don't talk to him unless you are ready to.

[Cajun Blake]

Serenity Prayer

you're dealing with lots of emotions including: disbelief, anger, and some sadness that your boys cannot be around your father.

that's a messed up situation big time as you need to pray for all involved, including yourself : dad, mom who was betrayed, and your children.

your dad must now be held accountable for his actions and poor decision making

he lost the trust from his family and loved ones

I'd suggest some type of support group for yourself as you are not alone in your feelings. Others have walked in your shoes, likely other TBH'ers. You need to talk about your feelings and consult with others who have been there, done that.

I agree it's to early to forgive since you're still in shock and ticked off b/c your dad (the male figure you grew up trusting the most) let everyone down big time

IMO, he too needs help to admit his wrongdoings and to get honest

sadly, his actions may have ruined your immediate family circle.

prayers sent up for your entire family

[Team Roper]

Forgiveness is for you not them. Unforgiveness is like a cancer that will eat at you without ceasing. But to answer your question why is it so hard? Because we are human and we tend to focus to much on ourselves. It is God's strength that will get you thru this don't try to do it alone. Prayer, prayer and more prayer remember he is the healer.

[Boss Buck]

If your not ready your not ready tell him. The lord will give you guidance just ask and spend time praying. I'm very sorry your going thur this.