How far do you go?

[dgrant]

I want to brief with the situation and try to make it understood that I am asking how far do you go before YOU would be able to tell yourself you've done all you can do. I came out of a bad marriage 2 years ago thought I was doing best for the kids (Im not a small guy and at the same time not a person to abuse anyone) but I was in an abusive marriage have many examples but dont want to waste time on that. I have been fighting for the past two years to just get visitaions of my two boys, seems like no matter how good a lawyer I hire no matter what program I got to I cant get anywhere with this. My Ex went to court and accussed me of being the person she was and coming from a 5'8" 120lb women directed at a 6'3'' 260lb man it held a lot of ground which is amazing with no proof. But I was able to see my boys once a week for an hour in a supervised situation which really sucked but I was able to see them, after the last court day the judge suspened my visitaion due to my oldest being stressed in the situation I have to wait tell March to go back to court to find out if I am going to lose my rights to my kids, she comes from a long line of money and I dont have a pot to pee in and I am exhausting everything I have to try and stay in the ring but what I have is running out and it seems like it doesnt matter what I do its against me. My physical side is at the point of giving up but my mental side wont let me. I guess Im asking is there anyone here that has ever been in this situation and if so how did you deal with it?

[El Viejo]

I am so sorry for you having to go through this. I have no experience with this but will be praying for you.

[Froggy]

She can't keep them from you forever. Just keep in touch with them and let the kids know you love them. Sooner or later they will seek you out knowing you are their Dad.

Never speak ill of their Mom. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for and instinctively know right from wrong.

[Atfulldraw]

this is the problem with the system.

Anyone who says it isn't biased is full of ****.

My ex did the same crap - fortunately, I had the money to spend to get the toughest, female, ***** of a lawyer, and won (it's all relative)

Psych evals, child evals, coparenting classes, anger management classes, you name it.

My attorney had a theory - what's good for the husband should be good for the wife.

My ex even had the nerve to call the administrator of a battered women's shelter to the stand to testify against me. The kicker? She had, of course, never been to the shelter, and the witness got on the stand and told stories about other people. Even the judge was scratching his head (and he was the kind of stupid that would fall for a stunt like that)

Finally, the ex got tired of wasting her time and money and got called a liar by every single expert they called to the stand.

Keep fighting, it will be over at some point, but you have to be able to look yourself in the mirror and say that you did everything you possibly could.

and the above poster is right - you generally don't have to say a word - kids figure it out all by themselves......

[Bowhuntamistad]

She can't keep them from you forever. Just keep in touch with them and let the kids know you love them. Sooner or later they will seek you out knowing you are their Dad.

Never speak ill of their Mom. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for and instinctively know right from wrong.

Exactly....it will even out in the end, always does.

[kspike]

Prayers sent out to you and your kids

[hully1029]

If you havent tried a cold hearted female lawyer, try it. Other than that, ask yourself how far you are willing to go. I would absolutely go to the ends of the earth for my kiddos and sounds like you would to. Dont ever give up, ever. Do whatever it takes.

[Happy97]

Praying for you man.

[Old Bald Guy]

I don't normally tell this story but maybe it will help you keep going when you feel that there is no way you can win:
You never quit. Mine took 6 years total and to some degree went like yours is going. I was fighting a system stacked against me including the sheriff's dept, DA's office and family court system. I sold most near everything I could liquidate and still ran out of money while she had plenty to spend on lawyers, PI's. etc. "In the best interest of the child" was never even a factor until the very end. Facts of the case were trumped time and time again by smart legal maneuvers by her legal team. People were telling me to give up and go on with my life cause it was ruining me. I couldn't quit cause a little 5 year old boy loved his daddy and I loved him. Seemed like only he and I knew how bad of an environment he was in with his Mom. After 5 years in the court system and with it looking like I would have visitation at her whim his mom slipped up and kicked him and left some bruises. Fortunately at about the same time we got a new DA along with a very good assistant DA that handled child cases. CPS got involved and her house of cards came tumbling down. He was 10 by then and the judge let him take the stand where he confirmed what I had been saying from day one. Long story short I got custody, her rights were terminated and I even got some of my money back. That little 5 year old is 17 now, doing very well in life and still loves his old Dad. Even though it's against the rules I've always allowed him to see his Mom if he wants but funny thing is she doesn't seem like she wants any part of him.
Moral of the story- don't give up ever!!! When it seems hopeless and you think you're at the rope's end think of the kids and keep going. Nothing in the world more important than your kids. Good luck and I hope things work out for you guys.

[Hank]

It took me 2 1/2 years of fighting to get custody of my three boys. It took alot of money but in the end I prevailed. My x works for a lawyer so you can imagine how much B/S I had to endure. Dont give up!!!

[elkbowhunter]

Never give up. You will always be their father. Not knowing all the details its hard to say what course you should go. My prayer for you is that you find someone who can represent you so that you can see your kids. If your wife is lying and is making up false things about you God does not blink. We pray for a Judge who will see clearly and be able to judge what is best for the kids. Having a loving father in their life is the best. If you choose to give up fighting for your children, this is something you will regret. Never give up on doing the right thing....Never.
Hoping the best for you.

[dgrant]

Guys I wanna thank y'all for the support this is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. Thanks for the stories to that gives me hope.

[big_smith]

There is an attorney service in the Houston area that I hear advertised on the radio pretty often. Don't know the name, but they say they specialize in helping Dad's in court. Maybe someone else from the area can give you the name. Good luck. I have always believed the system is broken, but not sure how to fix it.

[dadogg]

When Me and the ex split up she moved back to Texas whlie I was stillin the Navy in California. Needless to say I had no visitation due to the locations other than when I could come to Texas on leave. I retired 5 years after that and moved back to Texas. During the 5 years I was made out to be every kind of beast there was by her and the step father. It took @ 3 yrs of being back before the kids understood that not everything they were told was true. Once the kids said they wanted to come live with me I hired the toughest female Lawyer I could find and within 6 months had full custody.

Patience is the key here and as stated above the kids are a whole lot more intuitive than most think.

[Txbownut]

Never give up, but don't push so hard that you alienate the kiddos. They are always the first priority. Period. Prayers for you and the boys.