I'm so bored, help!

[biglew]

What is Al Gore's favorite dance? The alogorithm...

Hope you get better soon

[MKH]

M R Ducks
M R Knot
C M Wangs
L I B
M R Ducks

That's the Arkansas readin test, right there!

[THETEXAN]

A blond read an article put out by AAA insurance. It read ( most deaths and accidents happen at home or close to their house.) So she moved !

[mykidsdad]

Can't think of any expect ones that aren't appropriate for here....
With that being said, I hope you are feeling better and getting some rest tonight.

[Froggy]

English Lesson

This is an interesting English lesson.

Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters?
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Do you know that the words "race car" spelled backwards still spells "race car"?
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And that "eat" is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate"?
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How weird is that?

[Froggy]

Meet Walter Barnes - All bowhunters should live so long as to be this kind of old man!

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?

80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was really bad.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for bowhunting. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"


"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.


"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. "How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied.

The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old bowhunter tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply,

"I outlived all them aholes" - and he calmly returned to his seat.

[Froggy]

One last one before bedtime

A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand........

The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.

[kfd82]

A horse stuck his head in a bar and the bartender said "what's Sarah Jessica Parker doing in my bar?"

A bear walked into a bar and said "I'll have a
.
.
.
.
beer"
Bartender said "why the big pause?" (Paws)

[Brazos Hunter]

For some reason camel comes to mind.

Right

[triffnix]

hope you get well soon Gen!

Daniel

[alec73065]

Here you go Gen

Government Investigates Rancher

The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.

GOV’T AGENT: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.”

RANCHER: ”Well, there’s my hired hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.
Then there’s the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.
He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life.
He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”

GOV’T AGENT: “That’s the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.”

RANCHER: “That would be me.”

[dimeboxbill]

a cowboy rides into town on Friday and stays 3 days then rides out on Friday, how was that possible ................................................hi s horses name was Friday.

[Witchgrass]

Subject is not responding..... may have been bored to death....

[Cull]

For some reason camel comes to mind.