Marriage Counselor Spring/Woodlands---Prayers for wife and I

[carp]

We are having a rough patch right now and she wants to separate with the intentions of getting back together if i can change my ways (no cheating just not treating her the same as when we first met.) I am willing to do the separation only if she will agree to counseling at the same time. I do not want to loose her, she is the love of my life and i have just taken her for granted over the years. We have been married for 5 1/2 years but have dated/ known each other for 15yrs. We have a 10mo baby girl and one on the way. I know i have treated her wrong just need to prove to her that i can be the man i once was.

So looking for prayers and recommendations for a counselor

Thanks

[Txjourneyman]

Prayers up. My wife and I are trying hard to put a spark back in the love we have for each other. Our problems are 99% me taking her for granted.

[RogueSamurai]

Do your homework and find a good one in your area. Some counselors like to blame the man/husband for "not communicating" or not sharing etc. The problem with counseling is that it doesn't take into account that, for the most part, we are still all basically men and not hard wired the way the most sociologist professors would like for us to be.

Counseling can cut both ways for both of you so keep your cool and let your wife air her grievances. She's going to bring up stuff you have long since forgotten about so you might want to take notes. When it comes your turn, you will want to be careful what you say but make it clear that she's not married to what Oprah or Cosmo says she should be married to. That doesn't exist.

You CAN make some changes but it's completely unfair for her to ask you to change who you are. For example, she knew you were a hunter when she married you and asking you to stop now, or to radically change who you are, is out of line.
Same rules go for you though.

You can tweak and improve yourself without losing who you are. So can she.

Good luck to both of you.

[Texantax]

Prayers sent

[Codie]

prayers sent that the lord blesses your efforts to "love your wife as christ loved the church" and that your wife would come to an understanding (someway, somehow) that her "husband not treating her the same way he used to" is FAR from grounds for a divorce or seperation.

[kfd82]

My only advice is to not separate. With a little one and one on the way, she will only resent you for "leaving her alone". Go to counseling and sleep in another room or on the couch if she doesnt want to share a room with you, but dont move out.

Prayers sent.

[LWD]

I agree. Don't separate. That's the first step toward divorce. You need to really question why she wants that and thinks it's a good idea.

Otherwise, RogueSamurai gives you good advice. Men are men. It's not ALL our fault. Many women and many counselors seem to think most everything is the guy's fault. A lot often is. But most situations didn't get to where they're at only because of one person's actions and inactions. Today's society is, I think, a more difficult one for women than men. And I think that's a lot of the problem. Especially when there's a transition into or out of the workforce by the wife.

Good luck.

LWD

[Chunky]

There is not way I could tell you weather you should seperate or not. I will tell you that if you can save it, you should do anything possible to make that happen. That you should not give up while there is any hope.

Divorce is the hardest thing I ever went through.

Prayers sent...good luck

[Charlie6Delta]

Prayers sent for you and your wife.

[Texas Roy]

Fellowship of the Woodlands church has some Christian marriage counselors that helped out a close buddy of mine and his wife, made a big difference and now they go to the church as well.

[rjbowmaster]

Fellowship of the Woodlands church has some Christian marriage counselors that helped out a close buddy of mine and his wife, made a big difference and now they go to the church as well.

Good advise a family that prays together stays together

[Ol Thumper]

My better half is an LCSW that specializes in marriage counseling. Shoot me a pm if you would like to talk to her tonight for advice.

[Lonestar88]

Fellowship of the Woodlands church has some Christian marriage counselors that helped out a close buddy of mine and his wife, made a big difference and now they go to the church as well.

...This..

[Playa]

I can't offer any info on marriage counselors down your way, I do hope that you find a good one. I can however offer some hope and my experience.

My wife and I were separated and filed for divorce last summer. We, by the grace of God, despite my unwillingness to obey, were able to salvage our marriage. I am here to testify that a reclaimed marriage is one of the most beautiful things on earth, and that for the 1st time my marriage is a source of joy in my life.

I encourage you to reconsider separation. Unless there is truly dangerous physical abuse occurring, separation will not solve your issue and will undermine your ability to "prove" to her a willingness to change. In retrospect, I would have handled my situation very differently, including not separating.

A few simple things that I learned that I hope my experience can be passed on to you.

1) you are not your wife's enemy, she is not yours.
2) At the very foundation, you both probably want the same thing, a happy joyful marriage/home & family.
3) Right now you either don't know how to achieve that goal or are working at in from different directions. Either way good counseling is a tool (but not a solution)
4) The absolute intent of marriage is to eliminate the selfishness of spouses, its the only way it can be successful.
5) You must be intentional about your marriage, striving each day to grow it. Intitially it will be about keeping it on life support, but growth will come and then it will flourish.

Feel free to PM. Since our "ordeal" my wife and I have a passion for helping couples, though we aren't counselors. But we believe that sharing our experience hope and strength is the only way we can retain our marriage and it pains us to see other couples suffer through marriage unnecessarily.

[BigThicketBoy]

Prayers sent up high

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