What's The Funniest Thing Your Kids Have Said or Asked?

[Great White Hunter]

Again for me the funniest was when he asked, "Mommy, why does everything say China on the back of it?"

Another would be when he was 3 and name his pet turtles Sinker and Cari (for car). Cari died after a few days. We bought him another one and my wife tried to get him to name the turtle "Hook" (for Hook and Sinker). He named the turtle Race Car Tire.

I think we are first (and probably last) to ever have a pet named Race Car Tire! He's got cars on the brain!

[LostHawg]

One day out at the archery range I'd taken my boy, Matt, when he was 5 to shoot with my friends and me. We had just walked up to a target and were standing around talking when Matt walked past us with his recurve and in a very sinister voice spoke to the strutting tom target, "DIE CHICKEN!!" and shot it right in the little dime sized X ring. We 'about all fell down laughing.

[DrenalinJunkie]

At my wife's grandmother's funural, as they were all saying their last good byes at the casket. My daughter(about 5 at the time) asked very matter of factly and very loudly................ "Hey mom, Whats in the box?"

[Slingblade]

While deer hunting last year with my 6 year old son we stopped to pee. He was in the middle of the act when he looked down and without raising his head up or batting an eye he asked me " Dad do buck deer have one of these too?"

[Rickzilla4645]

Dems funny right there

[whysixb]

Gotta love the innocence of children. My three year old was in Wal-mart last week and saw an old man wearing an eye patch. He walked towards him and said "Aaarrrgh, it's a pirate". The old man just started laughing.

[Cull]

My five year old told me yesterday that he "hoped he was dead before his sister (9 years old) started having her babies because he doesn't like babies."

I told him I hoped he was safe for a while.

[El Jeffe]

When my daughter was about three when I would discipline her we would count down one....two....three and then she would get a spanking. Well one evening she did not want to take a bath and so I counted one...two... and right before three she grabbed my face with her little hands and told me "daddy I dont need three this time" and proceeded to get in the bath. All I could do was fall on the floor laughing.

[BrandonA]

Last summer I had my soon to be three year old with me playing golf ( actually just riding in the cart and hitting a few shots). I hit one O.B. and muttered "Sonofabeech under my breath. My little angle shrugged her shoulder and threw her hands in the air and aske me "Daddy why it umictch?"
Laughed my butt off.

Yesterday afternoon while doing yard work I dropped the fertilizer spilling it adn muttered "****itt to hell" under my breath. A few minutes later my little angle dropped her bucket and muttered the same thing. Looks like dad needs to put soap in his mouth.

[RRFishNHunt]

My Eight year old got his report card the other day and was so proud to tell his mom about his conduct with getting all good conduct. She looked at it and said William that is great, but look at your grades, you got all "A's". Well he looked at it and grabbed it and said "I have to go to my room and sit down look at this because I can't believe myself!!!"

Kids say the darndest things!!!

[big_smith]

Our lab was in heat, and my 9yoa son caught the neighbors rat terrier trying to have a go at her. The rat was to short, so being the accomidating female, she laid on the ground trying to give him the best angle. He was unsuccessful, and my son ran him out of the yard. When I got home, my wife told me and I thought this might be a good time to have a little birds/bees talk. I asked him what the rat terrier was doing. He said, "He was humping Grace." I asked him what humping meant. He looked me right in the face and said, "She stands. He attempts to breed. We bottle it." I could not breath for several minutes. Too much Outdoor Channel I guess.

[Hot4huntin]

Those are some good ones!

When Ty was 2-3, we were listening to George Strait and the line "Sometimes I lose my head and say things..." and Ty exclaimed "Ahhh, Mom his head fell off." It took me a while to stop laughing and explain what it meant to him.

Then before last Christmas, I asked Hunter what she wanted for Christmas and she remained silent. I asked her again and she looked at me and said I'm not telling you. I asked her why she wasn't going to tell me and she said, "Because I want to see if Santa is real."

[predatorsniper]

One day my wife was making lunch for my 3 yr. old son and she asked him if he'd like a grilled-cheese sandwich. He replied by saying, "I don't want a grill-cheese....I want a BOY cheese!"

Needless to say he is still adament about not eating a "grill-cheese" sandwich.

predatorsniper

[Randy]

Last week I was going out to feed the cows and my daughter (she is 3) wanted to go and I told her she needed to put her shoes on if she wanted to go with me.

She exclaimed that Jesus told her she didnt have to wear shoes today.

I said fair enough if the higher calling told you not to wear shoes I wont either. So I took my shoes off and we both fed cows barefooted.

[KNK]

Good ones!

When our youngest daughter who is 11 found out that Santa is not real, she didn't believe it. She said Santa had to be real, cause we can't afford to buy all the gifts Santa leaves for us!