Family advice needed

[brushtrooper]

I would like the green screens advice here, really just need a different view.
My view
My MIL has cancer and is fighting for her life and truly is one of the best women I have met in my life. We have had our differences in the 19 yrs I have been married to her daughter, dont get me wrong. Here is my problem, my FIL quit his job to help care for her, it was a part time job. He is retired from 2 military based jobs. He quit the part time job to "help". He does not do chit to help, expects my wife /his daughter to do it all. Expects my wife to ditch her family. Just an example, MIL at MDA and has been, mean while we had a vacation planned for a year/paid for. We took the vacation, wife was worried and really tried to enjoy it. We were gone for 7 days. we got back, and wife was gone back to mom for 4 weeks......the father was at home taking care of the dogs.Basically in the last 9 weeks, we have seen my wife the week of vacation. Then a day here and there. I understand we have to take care of our parents, as they raised us. I also understand that my father took care of my Mom when she spent 2 months battling for her life and did not require me or my brother to be there to do his job. Taking care of his wife and fulfilling his vows- for better or worse. Another example my wife came home last Friday and FIL went to Houston to be with HIS wife. Sunday he calls my wife, "asks" what time are you going to be here Monday. She says I am not coming back till Friday. He got ****** off about and did not talk to her for a couple of days. He took one change of clothes with him...he expected to stay over the weekend only! Je had to go buy clothes for the week.
I got so ****** off about that I blew my temper on my wife. I truley try to be understanding. This is a stress on family and marriage.

[Charles]

Your wife mother is battling for her life. Give your wife as much latitude and support as she desires to spend with her mother.

[brushtrooper]

Your wife mother is battling for her life. Give your wife as much latitude and support as she desires to spend with her mother.

I understand that and I do. I am truly pizzed off at my FIL.
What I posted here tonight, I have not said to anyone.

[Charles]

Your FIL is about to lose his wife...give him as much latitude as he desires.

Everybody is wired differently. It's not like theirs an instruction manual for times like this.

Be the support crutch your wife can depend on.

[brushtrooper]

Your FIL is about to lose his wife...give him as much latitude as he desires.

Everybody is wired differently. It's not like theirs an instruction manual for times like this.

Be the support crutch your wife can depend on.

I truley try to be that person. What my FIL is doing to my wife, I could not do to my kids i dont think. Charles you and my father must have went to school together.

[El Viejo]

Your wife mother is battling for her life. Give your wife as much latitude and support as she desires to spend with her mother.

I have to agree with Charles. I know this is a pain for you, but it is only temporary. Soon what you are enduring is going to pass. They, on the other hand will be experiencing a pain that will linger for a long time to come (I don't mean to imply that you won't suffer at the loss of your MIL, but just not like they will). Try to let your wife (primarily) do the things she feels are most important, and support her 100% in her decision. As best you can, do the same thing with your FIL, but your mail obligation is to your wife.

[Cajun Blake]

brother ..... you need to Let go and Let GOD !!!

you can't control people , places or things

pray the Serenity Prayer until you're blue in the face

if you let this stuff fester it will cause major hardships with your wife and immediate family

i suggest you go to Church Sunday and lift it up to the Lord

[Epack]

the lord wants your wife involved in your MIL's sickness at this time, be there for her, be there for your FIL, everything has its place and reasons

[Cantcatch5]

Everyone deals with cancer differently and it is TOUGH on family. I have worked in oncology for over 12 years and seen a lot of families go through it. Your MIL is lucky to have your wife and you. I don't have any advice for you but I will pray for your family.

Jason

[Txbhunter1]

Man, this is all I can say to you. Give your wife as much time as she needs to be with her family, whether it be there with omn or helping dad take care of mom. You will have her the rest of your life. Put yourself in her shoes. Its at times like this that we have to take a step back and really look at what is important. JMO

[nck]

the lord wants your wife involved in your MIL's sickness at this time, be there for her, be there for your FIL, everything has its place and reasons

X2.

[Joe H]

I know its hard. Had the same thing in my life. Please apologize to your wife for blowing your temper on her. Let her know that you support her and just dont like someone (dad) taking advantage of her. Tell her to do what she thinks is best and smile through gritted teeth if you dont agree. She will be back to you shortly in the big scheme of life.

[spikebuck]

Take care of your wife and her family. Prayers sent.

[Kdog]

Prayers sent buddy. I got nothing for you, but try to be supportive. Seems like you feel your FIL is taking advantage of your wife and maybe he is. Just let your wife know you are there for her and do the best you can.

[brushtrooper]

brother ..... you need to Let go and Let GOD !!!

you can't control people , places or things

pray the Serenity Prayer until you're blue in the face

if you let this stuff fester it will cause major hardships with your wife and immediate family

i suggest you go to Church Sunday and lift it up to the Lord

Cajun, I know you and others are correct. I am letting it festor, I WOULD not put my kids in this situation.