Divorce - Standard Custody Order

[gofish24]

For those of you in the same unfortunate position i am in, can you clarify if these are in your standard custody order with your kid(s):

-6pm till start of school the next day on wednesday nights. This goes away when school is out and begins when school starts again.
-Ex-Wife has 2 weekend over rides meaning that on a weekend that was suppose to be mine she can play her trump card which takes my weekend away. I have get no over rides. (of course she has saved both of hers to use during my 30 day summer period).

We have been under this arrangement for 2 years and I want to try and get some things changed. I miss to much time with my son. Anyone ever have any luck going back to court to get things changed (not just the two items above). It should be noted that my wife will fight me every step of the way on this.

Thanks guys.

[systemnt]

Talk to a lawyer that specializes in Fathers rights.
Good info: http://www.fathers4kids.com/html/Fat...?article_id=32

[Daniel75]

No to both those....I have standard and here it is:
-1st, 3rd and 5th weekend of every month
-whole month of July
-every Thursday from 6pm-8pm
-switch Christmas and Thanksgiving every year

There are some other minor things I'm leaving off but that's pretty much it. I don't have anything that says she gets to override anything. However, I think during the July portion of custody, if she wants to get him one weekend (might be two), she has to give me written notice by some date in April.

You need to double check your paperwork and like Systemnt said, you need to talk with your attorney.

By the way, you could go for extended standard visitation and that adds 4 more days to your month with him (I think it's 4, minimum it's 2). My attorney told me the only way a court will deny dad more time is if mom can show he's an incompetent parent and it's a danger to the child to be with him for more time. So anytime she ever wants you to keep him for an extra weekend or help out in any way, say yes. Then she can't come back and say, "Well he's not capable of taking care of him."

I get along with my son's mom NOW, but I've been where you're at. Good luck.

[El Coyote]

I believe she only gets the overrides if you are in an extended stay. You need to read your decree very carefully.

[John Galt]

I have Thursday nights instead of Wednesdays because I'm off some Fridays. My option for two hours or overnight. But not during summer.

The two summer "trump card" weekends have to be designated shortly after I designate my summer possession. One weekend during and one outside my summer possession.

Two years is a pretty short time to get an adjustment but could be done.

I'm OK with my agreement so I haven't tried to make any changes.

[TXSHUNTERS]

Yep 1st,3rd,5th weekends, month of june during that month she can pick 1 weekend.
Every Thursday from 6-8 and the weekends i have them i get from thurs till monday morning when i drop them off at school or there daycare.

[Atfulldraw]

no, those are not part of the standard possession (God, how I hate that word...) order.

but if they are in your order, you are stuck with them.

and yes, I've been back to court, and ended up with a 2,2,5,5 schedule instead of the stupid, standard, mother based schedule.

The fight was expensive, but worth it to me.

[gofish24]

i do have the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends as well. thanks for the input and i do have a call into my attorney.

i think she can use one of the trump weekends during july and im okay with that. however, she wants to use the other trump the weekend of june 29, 30th and july1st. which is a 5th weekend of the month and of the 1st is the begining of my summer possesion.

[systemnt]

no, those are not part of the standard possession (God, how I hate that word...) order.

but if they are in your order, you are stuck with them.

and yes, I've been back to court, and ended up with a 2,2,5,5 schedule instead of the stupid, standard, mother based schedule.

The fight was expensive, but worth it to me.

kudos, Dad.

[gofish24]

no, those are not part of the standard possession (God, how I hate that word...) order.

but if they are in your order, you are stuck with them.

and yes, I've been back to court, and ended up with a 2,2,5,5 schedule instead of the stupid, standard, mother based schedule.

The fight was expensive, but worth it to me.

can you tell me what the 2,2,5,5 schedule is?

[Daniel75]

no, those are not part of the standard possession (God, how I hate that word...) order.

but if they are in your order, you are stuck with them.

and yes, I've been back to court, and ended up with a 2,2,5,5 schedule instead of the stupid, standard, mother based schedule.

The fight was expensive, but worth it to me.

2,2,5,5? Man, that sounds pretty good. Fair to both parties too....I'm going to look into this, thank you. PM sent.

[Daniel75]

can you tell me what the 2,2,5,5 schedule is?

I think he means 2 weekends in a row, then he gets 5 days M-F for two weeks in a row.

[Atfulldraw]

I think he means 2 weekends in a row, then he gets 5 days M-F for two weeks in a row.

nope.

she is always with her mom on Monday and Tuesdays.
Wednesdays and Thursdays she is with me
then we alternate Fri, Sat and Sundays every other week.

so it goes.....
monday, tuesday mom (2)
wednesday, thursday dad (2)
friday, saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday mom (5)
wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday dad (5)

then repeat.
(9 am is the switch time, obviously that changes to whatever time school gets out when she's in school)

works pretty well, mom can sign her up for ballet on mondays and its on her to get her there.
conversely, I can sign her up for swimming close to my house and take her on thursdays.

I said all that to tell you this.....

No schedule will work as well as just getting along with your ex.

We still have our bumps along the way, but I think our order (which was by agreement after much negotiating) gives us the backup to work together pretty well.

[Daniel75]

That's a good schedule. I like that one too.

[gofish24]

thanks for bringing this up. I will be discussing with my attorney when he calls me. I assume you still rotate holidays/spring break and that there is no extended summer visit?