As a little kid I iodolized my grandfather he was my hero. I will never forget the day when I was four he took me to his frineds deer camp to see his buck hanging. Unfortuantly my stepdad didnt hunt or fish so I didnt get to hunt or fish at all except when I around him. I Just got glimpses of hunting and fishing when I got to go visit during the holidays and summer at the grandparents. So I spent many hours day dreaming about hunting and fishing. Then when he passed away when I was 13 I was lost. I have to be honest I went down a path of life I regret deeply that has cost many many things. But even thourgh living a life of chemical abuse I never lost the day dreaming the pasion to hunt. But because of living that life I didn't make a lot of frineds who hunted or fished. So for me from the beginning hunting was soooo much more than comraderi and sitting around a fire. It was about for the first time in my life being who I thought God wanted me to be. I fell in love with bowhunting. As a lone hunter the opprotunity to hunt reasonable price bowhunting dayhunts drove me to pick up a bow. That was in 1999. I was hooked and never looked back. TBH allowed me the chance to share and listen and be a part of a campfire. I spent hours reading through threads. Admiring and looking up for many. I am a bowhunter and for that I am proud and pretty dang good at it.
But this year things have started to change. I killed my buck opening weekend. I didn't hunt much after that. For some reason I didn't miss it. There was a lot of negativity around the lease. I think maybe it took it's toll on me. The guys I hunted with the last 4 years are moving on. It hurts more than I thought it would. To be honest this was the first time I got to hunt with people who I truely enjoyed being around. The thought of hunting alone again sucks. I have the boys but the 15 yr old has girls on his mind and the 7 yr old. Well he would be the only reason I kept hunting. But maybe I could sell all the hunting stuff and buy us some golf clubs. At leat we would be in the outdoors and doing something together. But I feel like I am walking away from my identity and who I am. Not even sure why I am posting this. Maybe it's a see you later. Maybe I am admiting that the pain and hurt to be a hunter have taken there toll on me. How can something you love so much be so painful. Just another reminder you never can overcome your past. But on the other hand a testament of how hunting can change a life. It did mine.
But this year things have started to change. I killed my buck opening weekend. I didn't hunt much after that. For some reason I didn't miss it. There was a lot of negativity around the lease. I think maybe it took it's toll on me. The guys I hunted with the last 4 years are moving on. It hurts more than I thought it would. To be honest this was the first time I got to hunt with people who I truely enjoyed being around. The thought of hunting alone again sucks. I have the boys but the 15 yr old has girls on his mind and the 7 yr old. Well he would be the only reason I kept hunting. But maybe I could sell all the hunting stuff and buy us some golf clubs. At leat we would be in the outdoors and doing something together. But I feel like I am walking away from my identity and who I am. Not even sure why I am posting this. Maybe it's a see you later. Maybe I am admiting that the pain and hurt to be a hunter have taken there toll on me. How can something you love so much be so painful. Just another reminder you never can overcome your past. But on the other hand a testament of how hunting can change a life. It did mine.
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