Home School...To or To Not??

[brandon123]

We have battled creating new pep talk-topics for my son in attempt to get him interested into going to school for too long. He hates it there, he isn't enjoying the things I think a 3rd grader should and we have had a few minor battles with a teacher or two. I am thinking about switching gears and homeschooling. I am looking for advice from anyone who has experienced this and what direction you went (program/company, online/dvd, how heavy is the parent-load ?? etc.)

I am not real worried, at least at this point, with accreditation and transcripts. He is near the end of his 3rd grade year right now. I have heard of all different options out there now for homeschooling and there is even a group on FB for a movement labeled "Unschooling." I do not think a kid has to be in public school in order to learn. Truthfully, learning is best achieved from experience...not being placed in a box like a form of prison and being told what to do. They don't teach the things in school that really matter anymore. I have nothing against public school if it works for you but there has to be a better option or at least, an equal option.

I am considering pulling him, homeschooling him for the next 4 months until Summer to let him get his feet wet with a new process and schedule (and us too). If at any point, it isn't working, we can enroll him back in public school. I guess my only real worry is if that ever happens, I want him to be at his current grade level if he decides to re-enter public school and not be behind. I think my fear is the unknown but have heard several parents who wished they had done this sooner than they did. Public school is not the 'be all-end all' solution and the past negative stigma of being homeschooled is slowly dissolving.

Any way...any help, advice, pointers that I can get, I would greatly appreciate it.

EDIT: Hearing the 2 great responses below...I felt that I needed to add a few more things. He currently plays basketball in a youth league that isn't associated necessarily with school and has established a few really good friendships with kids that live within 5 miles of us. I don't anticipate that ever changing just because he isn't in the same building with them everyday. I understand the friendship connections and school sports but there are also varying outlets for that too. Also, I have 3 other kids (two twin 15 year old daughters and another 13 year old daughter who are thriving in public schools, part of the cheer team, e-sports, student council, etc. and I have no intention of even offering this to them.

Thanks!

[jordan]

I'll throw in my 2 cents as someone who was both homeschooled and in the public school system. I was homeschooled from k thru 7th grade and then in public from 8th till I graduated. If you would have asked me years ago I for sure would have said public is way better and the way to go. I would have missed out on sports and lifelong friends, heck I'm still married to my high school sweetheart for the last 10 years. That being said, my wife is a teacher in the public school system and with the way things have changed, we ourselves have questioned if we would put our own kids in the public school system (we don't have kids). I couldn't imagine not getting to experience all the things I did in public school though, like I said I made lifelong friends and got to play ball in college because of it but with the options available today for homeschooling groups etc... it's worth looking to see what's out there. Also, I don't believe the whole stigma that homeschoolers are awkward and weird, I have an older cousin that was homeschooled his entire life and he's one of the most outgoing and successful people I know. It's a hard decision and I wish you best.

[Dale Moser]

Public schools certainly have their faults, and I suppose a lot of this will come down to specific teachers.

IMO Taking a kid out of school because they hate it, or don't want to go, is little more than coddling. School isn't supposed to be fun, it's school...I hated all of them too. You go, you do the work, and you learn to be a human who can deal with things and people they don't necessarily like. It's part of life.

If he's not getting an education, or the district just sucks, that's another animal altogether.

90% Of the parents I know of who homeschooled, did so because mom was incapable of letting jr and Sally go, or because jr and Sally had behavioral issues because their parents were idiots. Most of them had no business teaching anything...and their kids are walking examples of that. Those who do it for the right reasons, lean into it like work, and hold their kids TRULY accountable, seem to have a pretty good ride of it.

[Mike Fangman]

Public schools certainly have their faults, and I suppose a lot of this will come down to specific teachers.

IMO Taking a kid out of school because they hate it, or don't want to go, is little more than coddling. School isn't supposed to be fun, it's school...I hated all of them too. You go, you do the work, and you learn to be a human who can deal with things and people they don't necessarily like. It's part of life.

If he's not getting an education, or the district just sucks, that's another animal altogether.

90% Of the parents I know of who homeschooled, did so because mom was incapable of letting jr and Sally go, or because jr and Sally had behavioral issues because their parents were idiots. Most of them had no business teaching anything...and their kids are walking examples of that. Those who do it for the right reasons, lean into it like work, and hold their kids TRULY accountable, seem to have a pretty good ride of it.

Spot on ^

[da_pepper]

I'll throw in my 2 cents as someone who was both homeschooled and in the public school system. I was homeschooled from k thru 7th grade and then in public from 8th till I graduated. If you would have asked me years ago I for sure would have said public is way better and the way to go. I would have missed out on sports and lifelong friends, heck I'm still married to my high school sweetheart for the last 10 years. That being said, my wife is a teacher in the public school system and with the way things have changed, we ourselves have questioned if we would put our own kids in the public school system (we don't have kids). I couldn't imagine not getting to experience all the things I did in public school though, like I said I made lifelong friends and got to play ball in college because of it but with the options available today for homeschooling groups etc... it's worth looking to see what's out there. Also, I don't believe the whole stigma that homeschoolers are awkward and weird, I have an older cousin that was homeschooled his entire life and he's one of the most outgoing and successful people I know. It's a hard decision and I wish you best.

Agree with this. I was in public until 5th grade. 6th - 12th. Homeschool. Fortunately I was a very outgoing person so never really struggled in that area. I did miss out on sports, so I live a little vicariously through my kids now, who are in sports. I will say, some of my best friends in public school. I do not know any longer. Was easy to lose contact. And I miss that. There will also not be any high school reunions or etc. For me and my siblings, we wished we could've stayed in public. My parents pulled us out, because of the school going down the drain. Violence, gangs, etc. All in all, we are smart humans, and definitely would never be assumed by anyone we were homeschooled.

[Dale Moser]

I also believe that there is value in experiencing a lot of the BS that public school entails. Regardless of how you go to school, you're gonna have to work with those people afterwards, and if you aren't prepared to deal with the dropouts and lower percentile performers, you're screwed. It's important to know what's out there, and how some people think...even if it sucks, and they are idiots.

Mileage will vary, of course.

[TheHammer]

There’s things kids need to learn at home that have nothing to do with algebra or history. . There’s things kids need to learn at school that have nothing to do with algebra or history. I think there’s valuable life lessons to learn at both places. There are certain experiences I don’t believe home schooling can provide for an individual that they’ll need in life. Just my opinion though.

[TX03RUBI]

Dale is spot on!

[Mayhem]

Has he been tested for any learning disabilities or even the GT program? Could be he is just bored or not understanding it all. School was a struggle with my son, but when we figured out the issues it helped. He still doesn't like school but how many 10 years old boys do you know that do? If I would have pulled my son out because he didn't like going to school it would have been a huge disservice to the both of us.

[glen]

Big draw back is kids don’t learn how to deal with negative interactions- as strange as it sounds they seem to lack in conflict resolution. Seem to usually get a good education and learning without all the BS. The only other negative is if they are involved in sports. I know there are leagues for homeschool kids but they are not competitive

[brandon123]

I appreciate the responses. Would like to hear from anyone on here that has homeschooled and your experience.

[dirtybay]

At the end of the day, you just have to do what you think is best for that child. Doesn’t matter what the education resource is, put the child in the best position possible. Talk with the school counselor about possibly doing the transfer to HS, to see how that would impact his ability to go back the next school year if needed.
Our oldest child excelled only in private school. Then middle child did great in public. 3rd was always in conflict in private or public and finally we pulled and homeschooled at 15, best thing we ever did. He is producing his best grades ever and not caught up with all the crap they allow in PS. I have a 2.5 yr old and doubt he ever steps foot on public school grounds.
every situation is different so don’t be afraid to make a move that best fits your family’s well being. All our kids have friends and all started working as soon as they turned 16, so they get plenty of exposure to things outside of any type of classroom.
I’m very thankful for the many educational options available. Plenty of coops or leagues to cover sports or other activities that can fit needs, so that’s not really a concern, except maybe in some small rural areas.
being a concerned parent and recognizing a situation is the first smart step, so thumbs up there.

[Jason]

Just FYI, HB 547 allows homeschool kids to play public school sports so long as they meet certain state mandated requirements. I believe the district the child wants to play in also has to approve it.

[bullets13]

I'll say that I have to agree with Dale on this one. Having a kid pulled out of school because "he doesn't like it" is showing him that not trying hard will get him what he wants, and IMO makes y'all enablers. It's no guarantee, but it could definitely lead to similar behavior when it comes to jobs, college, and relationships later in life, since he'd be conditioned to know that he can give or complain when he doesn't want to do something and get out of it. The majority of home school kids that I've been around who I feel like were truly successful had moms who originally were teachers to begin with. Most of the rest of them I've known fell into one of two categories: one group had serious deficits in social skills, problem solving, and teamwork skills (even the ones I've known through youth sports), and often in general were just strange kids. The other group had parents who just got tired of dealing with their kid's behavior at school, but were too lazy to make them learn at home. Those kids turned out pretty worthless. As to your son, I'd be real curious how much time he spends in front of a computer monitor or tv screen. I recently had a buddy who's son "hated school" and "never wanted to go." They finally got rid of the xbox and uninstalled fortnite, and amazingly the son didn't complain and try to stay home 3 or 4 days a week anymore. I'll say this much: if you or your wife isn't willing to treat this like real school and make him do a full workday and workload of school work, it definitely isn't going to benefit him.

[Drycreek3189]

Dale is spot on!

Yep. Kids need to experience the atmosphere with others, need to learn that they aren’t special to anybody but their family. I think a home schooled kid might not be prepared for the world. OTOH, some schools nowadays teach chit that I wouldn’t want my kids “learning” but it then becomes the parents’ job to learn what the school is teaching and counteract that which is not desirable.