Chili Cookoff Results.

[Goldeneagle]

THAT'S IT!!!!!!!! Next year I'm entering the DESERT COOKOFF with the rest of the ladies!

[Cajun Blake]

my brother,

you need the secret ingredients works like a charm

+

[Higee]

Post the recipe so we know how not to make it. I kid, I kid.

Did it have beans? Venison? what place did you come in?

[Goldeneagle]

my brother,

you need the secret ingredients works like a charm

+

I will have to give this a try next time bro!

Post the recipe so we know how not to make it. I kid, I kid.

Did it have beans? Venison? what place did you come in?

No beans in chili dude. I just used ground chuck. Thats what I had in the freezer. I came in 22nd.

[Low Fence]

Our achery club entered one last year. We had a blast and got some exposure. Used Axis meat, and of all I tried I honestly think we should have placed 3rd ish. The top 2 places were so bad I could not swallow one of them. HORRIBLE. But its a fund raiser and VERY POLITICAL.............we aint political

We built a cabin with metal roof, front porch, chimney, oil lanterns on porch, really went all out on decorations (another class to compete in) we lost to a bank that was wearing camo overalls?

[Humper]

I came in 22nd.

out of 15 entries

[Goldeneagle]

out of 15 entries

Thanks!

[outdoordaddy]

out of 15 entries

lol

[Goldeneagle]

lol

Yeah, he's a real weisenheimer ain't he.

Jeff, we need to drink ( not spill ) a beer real soon.

[BuckySWT]

I'd love to go to Terilingua one day.
Had a buddo go YEARS ago...it's like the Woodstock of chili.

[VorTexan]

can you tell us how you cooked the chili? As in prepared everything. I'm not trying to get your recipe (I have won a first place in the past) -( not to rub it in) but maybe some of us can see where you might need a little help.


Cajun I may try your stuff this weekend! Where do I get the bottle stuff?

[quarterback]

Somebody post up the yankee chili judge story...

[Cajun Blake]

Cajun I may try your stuff this weekend! Where do I get the bottle stuff ?

Marty, from your old grocery store

Zing Zang, Maj Peters, Mr & Mrs T , Tabasco ...... any bloody mary drink mix will suffice

[Cazador]

Somebody post up the yankee chili judge story...

This one?

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope
for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to
paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas .

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the
first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those
of you who have lived in Texas , you know how true this is. They actually
have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up
a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park .

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting
from Springfield, IL.

Frank: 'Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili
cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I
happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for
directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was
assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't
be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer!
during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.'

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what
I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who
wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer
when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my
backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced from
all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish
or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer
maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 400 lb. woman is
starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is
chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and
I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her
chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by
pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning
my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to
stop screaming. Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic.
Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it
will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me
except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt
with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am
worried about judge number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as
he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my
shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting
any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the
4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,
passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.
Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have
reacted to really hot chili?

Judge # 3 - No Report

[medic911]

my brother,

you need the secret ingredients works like a charm

+

Funny this should come up today. We had a cook-off at the hospital today. I was with the above and axis meat. There was 35 pots turned in.

Everyone need to get some of this, it is AWESOME.

Jeff