I need of some advice....

[squeek372]

Im really gonna try to make a long story short so here goes. I am a recovering drug addict and went to rehab in Feburary of this year. After I got out I relapsed for about 4 months and finally got my **** together and now have been clean for about 4 months. My best friend Wes was the only person that i talked to when I was in rehab and he has always been there for me and me for him. We really were best friends since high school. When i was relapesing I was lieing to him all the time and he found out all of the bad **** that i did when i was in my addiction. I told him everything but was still lieing about doing the drugs and where i was getting the money. finally i got kicked out of my parents house and lied to everyone and told them that my dad and i got into a fight and drugs and money had nothing to do with it. Wes was tired of hearing it from other people so he called my mom and she told him that i had stolen money and other things that i did. I have not talked to Wes since this day. After he talked to my mom I got clean and did not see anyone or talk to anyone for about 2 months and finally tried calling and texting Wes and he will not have anything to do with me. I have always known how he feels about liars and thiefs and in my addiction i was both of these things. I will totally understand if he wants to chew my *** out and never talk to me again i really would understand but at the very least i owe him an apology and explanation i feel. I guess my question is what should i do? i am totally clean now and turning my life around. I am in school and working and trying to get another job. but he wont answer the phone or respond to texts and he no longer lives here so what should i do? any advice will be appreciated and thank you all.

[TxAg]

Send him a very detailed letter or email and leave the rest to him. God's in control. Congrats on getting clean. Best of luck!

[flufster]

sounds like it needs some time...time for him to cool down and time for you to prove you have really kicked your habit and changed your ways

good luck with your struggles and hopefully your friend will come around after you have proven yourself

[VorTexan]

Time.


I know a guy that had done this numerous times and sooner or later you've heard them cry wolf too many times.

Reading your post I'm passing judgement. I shouldn't but the language concerns me as I know there is really only ONE way you can beat this. I am praying for you and your friend. Ultimately actions will speak louder than words. He may be watching you now. Sorry to be so tough on you but you wanted opinions. I have been burned many times with one person I thought was a friend till he stole his childrens Christmas presents one time and I had to buy some for his children a couple days before Christmas. Unfortunately this addiction has consequences and it might help you and all of us if you continued to share your story and what drugs can do to separate your loved ones.

[kfd82]

Sounds like you need to just give it time. IMHO 4 months isnt clean. You said yourself that you had relapsed for about 4 months before this. For someone who has cleaned up, relapsed, cleaned up, relapsed, cleaned up.... its gonna take a while before ANY of your friends or family members trust you again.

Wait until its been long enough that people will allow you to start earning their trust again. I'd say 6 months would be minimum.

[Willbehunt'n]

Send him a very detailed letter or email and leave the rest to him. God's in control. Congrats on getting clean. Best of luck!

Great advise!

[dhillis]

as stated above you can only attempt to apologize. Do what you know is right and what you need to do. You can only present to apology, your friend must accept it. Send the apology in several forms if this helps make you feel better and makes you feel that you did the best you can.

Not sure if you are a christian or believe there is a higher power but I would suggest that you find a local church with some young adults that you think you would mix well with and get involved. Find ways to spend time with people that you want to be like. Not saying your not a good person but there are always people you look up to, spend as much time with them as possible.

If you need to talk send me a pm. I recently became the young adults pastor at the church I am attending and would love to help you find a local church if ur interested in that option.

[Fishndude]

Put yoursfelf in his shoes. Trust is a tough thing to earn and it may take quite a while for him to even have a conversation with you.

Good for you on doing the right thing but it's gonna take more than that to earn back the trust. Work on it every day.

[WCB]

You CAN get off the juice. Just do it one day at a time, and if the "stuff" or "friends" try to get you back, man up and say no!!
No idea if your friend will ever take you back. If so, great. If not, again, cowboy up and move on for yourself...

[dexterc]

Hey Squeek, will be praying for you. I would also try the letter but ultimately you must forgive yourself and stay clean. You have a tough time ahead of you, but it is up to you to stay clean for yourself. You understand why your friend is distancing himself, in his shoes, you would probably do the same. Like has been suggested, find a local church and if you are not a Christian, seek God and He will be there for you. Where humans will leave you on your own, He will always be there. Until you get your relationship right with God, your human relationships will not be right either. If you come to know Him, He will be with you through all the struggles you will face in the days ahead. Getting that relationship right will make your relationships with others work out like they are supposed to be. Stay strong, His door is always open. God Bless

[BIG IRON]

Give him his space and stay sober. Let it be a goal for you to win back his trust. Good luck brother.

PS, I think it is a noble thing that you would discuss this on an open forum. Someone is probably reading this that is on the same road that you were on and it might change their life.

[emtpbowhunter]

You need to give him and yourself time. You been clean for a few months but there is still a long road ahead of you, God will be on your side, take one day at a time even though it might feel like its forever, but as long as you stay clean from now till the day you meet your maker, your buddy will be there. Just wait and see. Take care.

[TX_Kevin]

4 months in the big scheme of things doesn't add up to much. The main thing for you to understand is that you have a whole lot of hurt to clean up. Once you've branded yourself a liar and a thief you have a long hard trail to climb. You can do it, in fact you have to if you want to have a life. And, also consider that life is far more valuable than any high you can get from any drug. Stay straight, and don't worry about Wes. If you can remake yourself, Wes and others will see it and believe it. But, give yourself years - not months to accomplish this.

Give yourself years to redeem yourself. Time will prove the truth, one way or another. The choice is yours, and it is a choice.

[The "Juan" 12]

just do whatever you can man to earn everyones trust but first you gotta earn God's trust. youve let him down by doing what you did. once you ask for forgiveness of your sin, God will forgive. remember with out Him you are nothing. keep staying clean and do all you can to earn everyones trust. also you gotta own your own trust as well. gotta make sure youll never do any drugs again. then when that is said and done, you can start doing what you gotta do to gain TRUST! everything will work out brotha. just pray and pray and dont let them knees get lazy. ask for guidance and strength my man, youll be okay. just relax, after all, time heals everything.

[NelsonV]

First of all big ups to you for posting something so personal to you. I have been down that road as the lied to friend not the user. My best friend to date went through the same addiction fighting crystal meth. I was lied to and stole from to support his habit. ****** off was an understatement!! But for our friendships sake I wasn't about to throw stones living in a glass house. We all go through tuff times. Some more severe than others. We worked on him getting clean and to date he still is with a great job. Time does heal all wounds even the deepest. It's hard for someone to understand addiction if they have never faced those demons. I would try calling, emailing, texting, and getting ahold of his family to reach him. He needs to hear how sorry you are and he needs to remember he's not lived a perfect life. I found it easy to forgive my best friend after all God forgives all for much much worse. Keep reaching your hand to him and he will eventually grab it. Good luck!!!


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