A heated topic

[keep]

Maybe going back to court wouldn't be bad. Maybe he would just not bother with it.

The term father and dad's are used interchangeably and shouldn't be. This guy is her father (sp*rm donor) not her dad. A dad is there all the time for the kid. In this situation you're the dad. This a hole is the father and should have been man enough to be both. Guys like this are the reason fathers, who want to be dads as well, struggle in court to have enough visitation during a divorce. I'm fortunate in the fact my ex is a great mom and wants us to both be involved in our daughters life so we both get her 50/50.

The only option and I don't know if it could even work would be to tell him "you had your month, it was June right when she got out of school and you never called, maybe next year.
Most custody papers will dictate which month is his and generally it's as soon as school gets out, pull the documents and look at them. The judge will have to set the terms and designate a month specifically incase there is a dispute the visitation which then resorts back to the terms in the custody papers.

Next, the courts are supposed to rule based on what is best for the child, after him not calling or visiting, if you go back the judge may just say it's best for a reduced visitation till he re-establishes a relationship. I would set a court date without an attorney and just tell the judge you don't necessarily want to change the ruling that has been in place for the future but don't think it's a good idea this year and then ask him if he would make a decision based on the PRECEDENT the father set and what's best for the child. Typically the judge will base his decision on precedent set by the father.

Hopefully Eddie Howard will weigh in on this, he's a judge and while I don't think he deals with this he might have better insight. (pm him if he doesn't)
But check the custody paperwork, it should define the dates he gets her and like I said the state statue is usually as soon as they come out of school.

Court and the judge are your friend on this, especially since he hasn't been involved.

[texaset]

make it as easy on her as possible, enjoy every minute you have with her and hope he treats her good!!!!

This is the best way to deal with it . You will come out in front when all is said and done and she will know your there for her always which is what she needs .

[Rockpit TX]

BEAT his *** every time you cross paths. I know its not the best answer, but it sure wouldnt be the worst idea. Do a TBH trade. Somebody to deal a awhoopin for a Hunt.

[dozer]

thats a horrible situation bro.. Good luck, maybe hes tryn to do the rite thing, now?

[kbak67]

But check the custody paperwork, it should define the dates he gets her and like I said the state statue is usually as soon as they come out of school.

I didn't think of this...went and pulled mine. even though I got a great ex-wife, my papers do dictate the when the summer is, as well as Christmases, Spring Break, etc.....

[ellgrubb]

Good luck. I can say my bro in law divorced with two and he went into business for himself and she saw $ signs and got his CS payments raised when they found out of his pay increase. You might try that and then he would give her up. Koodos to you for being her dad and good luck. In the end she will know who dad is.

[KG68]

Really no right answers to these situations because they are all a little different. About the only thing I would suggest is be very careful and don't say bad things about her real dad. No matter what has happened up until now nothing can change the past and he will always be her real dad. Prayers up for you.

[Tommyh]

I have a hard time understanding how fathers can abandon their children like this. In cases with dads who suddenly want to be in the life of the kid its because he is being pushed into it by his current girlfriend and shes brow beating into doing something right.

[Bowtechlady]

Bottom line, it sucks!

My father died when I was very young and I was raised by my step father. I love him but I will always know that I did have a father.

If you deprive her of that you can bet he will blame it all on you and he will tell her that is why he hasn't been around. It could lead to problems when she gets older.

Maybe he is having a change of heart and pray for good intentions.

[Bowtechlady]

BTW, $100.00 is BS. Take him back to court and get that raised and use the money to take her to counseling. It is only going to get harder for her as she gets older.

[Dusty Britches]

get her one of those Verizon phones - a Chaperone. That way if she needs to call you or you want to know where she's at, you can just look it up on the internet. It will give you peace of mind and she'll know you are with her.

yeah - and what bowtechlady said, too. Get more from him.

[Jude]

Man that is a tough thing. Good luck to you, she knows who her real father is. The one who has been there for her and taught her right from wrong.

x2

[Hughiam]

Being a step parent sucks, period. You have absolutely no say in custody and you are trumped by the bio parents every time. Ive raised two step kids for over 10 years. Although I did everything a real dad would do, and their bio dad would ignore them for months on end, miss birthdays and christmas, etc, if he ever did call, the kids would turn inside out.

Last summer, he sued us for custody and I was labeled as "abusive" in court documents. Ive never raised a hand to either child and was there each time they got sick, went to every event, etc. Yet both of the kids piled on about how bad I was over the years.

You have to accept that you will be second place to the bio parents in terms of "rights" even if your the best step dad ever. And one day, youll have to swallow pretty hard when he wants to spend more time with the kids.

When you sign on as a step parent, there should be a disclaimer explaining all this. Unless you find a very understanding judge, her ex has every right to have a relationship with his child. Further he can petition the court for more time, like every other weekend, birthdays, alternating holidays, spring break etc. He doesn't need to get them on those days either, but it is his RIGHT to get them if he wants.

Sorry to be a wet blanket, but that is the way it is.

[Live2Hunt]

Man my heart is breaking for you. I have two daughters and would go out of my mind with worry, be careful you don't stress her out with your fear. Obey the law, but go to court to change it.

Praying for you brother, its all I got to give...

[tookeymonster]

somehting doesnt sound right. Other than beeing a POS for a dad, does the mother trust this guy with ya'll kid?