Need some advice. Wheres the line?

[trjones87]

So i am the typical first born, 22 year old son in the family. I have been happily dating mt girlfirned for almost 2 years. I have enough saved up for the ring and even have it picked out.....Heres the problem.....my mother. The girl Im dating is an awesome Christian girl who is adored by everyone in my family and extended family EXCEPT for my rents. On one hand, I want to have a good relationship with them when I get married, and on the other I feel like I shouldnt let what they think impact my decision. I know there are some parents out there and probably people who have gone through a similar situation.....help

ps. shes comin down today to spend the day with my fam and prayers are needed

[jlptexashunter]

Parents can sometimes see things that you don't. My father begged me on my first wedding day not to marry wife 1.0 and he was dead on right, took me 3 years, child and a miserable divorce to see what he saw.

I'm not trying to crash your party but look further into why they don't like her.

[trjones87]

Parents can sometimes see things that you don't. My father begged me on my first wedding day not to marry wife 1.0 and he was dead on right, took me 3 years, child and a miserable divorce to see what he saw.
I'm not trying to crash your party but look further into why they don't like her.

thats the thing! no one knows! my uncle and her mom have even confronted her about it

[Rakkasan2187]

Look do what is right for you, sometimes parents have a hard time letting go. If you don't make your own choices then you will regret it. Good luck and congrats.

[jlptexashunter]

Sit down, just you and your Mom and talk it through. Have a frank discussion with her.

If at the end of that you find her side of the matter unfounded or just "Mom Craziness" then you will know your next step.

Good luck brother.

[JMG]

Ask your parents what it is they don't like about her. Maybe it will open their eyes as to who she really is and maybe yours as well.

[az2tx]

Think about it for a little while, say about 10 years. Then you'll be sure of your decision

[RdRdrFan]

x2 on sitting down and talking with your folks about it. Just don't do it this weekend. Go back down without your GF and have everyone put their cards on the table. Be willing to really HEAR what they are saying. They may have justifiable reasons for their concern. They may just be having a hard time letting go. Talk it out before you fire off and propose.

[Ouch]

My mom and my wife have just recently begun to have a decent relationship, and I've been married for 8 1/2 years. Some moms just have a problem with anyone who's gonna "take away" their "little boy".

[Bill]

X3 or 4 with sittinf down with your parents. Ask what their concern are, you love them and respect their opinions. Do NOT argue or try to go point for point with them, you should write down the 'objections' an a piece of paper, and hear them through. Then go and think/pray about what you were told.

We have a poster in our house with life's 30 secrets, and the first one says that 90% of your happiness or problems in live from who you select to marry.

Put the piece of paper in a yellow envelope, seal it and put away somewhere that it will be safe and confidential.

In the end it's your life, and your decision.God speaks to us, but He speaks very, very softly I have learned in my conversations with Him, you have got to listen hard.

My parents were not crazy with my choice of a wife, my Mom said getting married I'd never finish my education (I got 3 college degrees after), we were different faiths (I was married in a Catholic church, raised my children in the faith and eventually converted- not my decision nor any pressure from my wife or her family, I just listened when He told me what to do), and we just celebrated our 30th anniversary.

[canny]

Same here sit down with them, because I've known girls to act different when I wasn't around and they may see something that your not. I'm not married, but thats just what I think the proper thing to do is.

[d_e_smith]

If I were in that position, I would pull my dad aside and ask his opinion....... and keep whatever he said confidential.

[xman59]

ask why she doesnt like her, sometimes it is just a jealousy thing... my wifes parents didnt want her to marry me.. 24 years ago... and my mother didnt want me to marry her.... sometimes they are wrong... my mother didnt like it because she was the first serious relationship... her parents just didnt know much about me because i worked evenings, when i was off i was with her not her parents... my wife was the first serious relationship because she wasnt goofy like some of the others i had been out with,,, shes still the first!!!

[Bily Lovec]

wow, I feel for ya, brother...
have a heart to heart w/ur parents, let them talk, dont interrupt, dont correct them, let them get everything out in the open. you may want to wait to tell your side to them, give you time to have a sound rebuttal. Be respectful, I dont know them and your relationship w/them, but they are your parents...

when its all over and done with, never bring it up again, let it go.

[Death from Above]

You are a 22 year old MAN. Be sure you mom and uncle know that. It is a disrespect to you and your girlfriend if they become involved in a relationship you are happy with. Do not them influence you decision making on this........is up to you and you alone.